This past quarter. It has been an emotional roller coaster.
First, our house was broken into (again), right before Christmas. And the only thing taken - my jewelry box. Yea, there was some random stuff in there but I will miss my grandmother's bracelet and the first necklace Ryan ever gave me. And the unease of someone being in our house. again!
Second, we returned back from Christmas and New Year's, to find out that they are closing Ryan's office. Almost everyone was laid off. Kind of a blessing in disguise, since it forced him to look for better opportunities. But what were we going to do? How long would our savings last? How do you file for unemployment? I know Ryan would do everything in his power to take care of us, and this gave him time to work on his iphone app (which is super cool!).
Third, Ryan was able to secure a job within 6 weeks. He actually had several offers. And now he gets to work from home. The only bummer is we never took time for a vacation, and now that he will start working, it will be a while until we get away....
Fourth, right before Ryan started, we found out we were pregnant. Pregnancy #8 for us! I couldn't believe it! It was such a surprise. And I felt uber pregnant - nauseous, cravings, etc. And out best friends were just a week behind us. My prayer had always been that we could be pregnant together. And now we are! It was amazing. My levels increased and all looked good.
Fifth, all looked good until my first ultrasound this week. The baby wasn't as big as he/she was supposed to be. Then I had my HCG (pregnancy hormone) levels checked. They are decreasing. I have cried all week. Just soo sad. Sad that my dream of being pregnant with Danielle is over. Sad that we are loosing our 7th baby. People say to not give up hope. There are miracles. But I just don't feel pregnant anymore. Why me? Why me AGAIN?
So there it is. Our emotionally crazy last 3 months. And I don't know how to process this. I just want to get away, have a break. But unfortunately, no vacation time for us for awhile. And I feel real guilty going on my own.
Please say a little prayer for me and for our family. Sometimes I feel it is too much to bear, but I can. And I have to.